Bii got into a fight again, but this time, virtually. yes, i dreamt of him being engaged in a fierce fight. it goes like this.

We were apparently holiday-ing in some foreign country that looks quite like malaysia in the dream. and i dunno where the actual scene took place, but it seemed like a hospital kinda place. and so we were sitting at the benches there, and dunno for wad reason, i think bii had a heated arguement with the burly guy sitting near there.

then soon after, a group of guys surrounded us, with the leader staring at bii. i then knew wad was happening; they were here for bii. in horror, i rushed to the leader and shouted something like 'NOOOOOO!' . the leader then looked at me and used a metal like clamp and gently clamped on the both sides of my head, saying 'You should know what to do if you dun want this to happen to you' . paralyzed by fear, i found myself quiet.

The leader then challenged bii to a fight. bii already anticipated this and took off his top, getting ready to take up all of the people there. bii launched his attacks first, giving 3 of the guys each a powerful kick on the nose which left them unable to retaliate for awhile. the leader, enraged with this, went behind bii and gave him a kick right at the place where guys are the weakest (you all should know what i mean) ;x bii's face didnt show much expression, but the impact of the blow was great, cause it sent bii on his knees.

The rest of the fight got more fierce, i think, but i cant really remember the rest of it. i only know wad's left of the fight was a badly injured bii, with his body covered in blood, and his injured toe distorted and bleeding like no one's business. when i went to help him up by holding his body, he was screaming in pain as my hands touched his fresh wounds. as i took a closer look at his injured toe, i dunno why, but i saw something like an extra appendage sticking out from his injured one. then i figured it out; his toe was broken. i didnt know what to do, but the first thing that came to my mind was to take him to the hospital as soon as possible.

I then remembered that we were in a hospital, so i quickly found a wheelchair and settled bii in it, then pushing him around the empty hospital like crazy, trying to find medical help.

And before i could see what happened next, i woke up. lols. what a weird dream ._.

You can call me a sore loser. you can call me a bitch. you can call me anything. but yes, i hate criticisms. especially those harsh ones. i know people have different tolerance and opinion levels, so maybe all that was just nothing. but to me it hurts. a lot. other people might see me as a noob , but frankly i dun care wad others think. but wad really hurts me the most was that you agree with them; instead of giving me encouragement, you despised me as well.

I already told you alot of times to watch wad you say. but you will somehow always forget. wad i really want you to know and understand is that people are different in all sorts of ways and that we see things in all sorts of ways too. but wad's the point of saying sorry and thank you when after saying that, the same thing repeats all over again ?

I didnt say i was not at fault totally; i dun like to be angry for no reason as well. but there are just some things that i really dun like and cannot tolerate. that explains my behaviour in response to your comments.

I really hope that someday you would at least understand how i feel, instead of having the thought that i am unreasonable and wanting to pick a quarrel with you everytime. maybe its because of all these small unhappy things that make you think that i dun love you as much as you love me bahs.....

I dun mean to embarrass, just a mere question out of the casual. do guys behave in one manner before he got something, and then in another when he had gotten it? cause seriously, this is how i feel.

One moment you would think that he's the sweetest guy on earth, and then the next his movements make you wonder if he still love you as much as the time when he promised that he would take care of you for the rest of his life.

Maybe its sensitivity on my part, but sometimes i wished that things are as sweet as the time when we first met.....

In the blink of an eye , my half a year holiday is gone ! school will be starting on monday, and i'll be going back home from bii's place tmr afternoon.

I've not been at home for the past 3 weeks, nearing 1 month, cause i was staying at bii's house. cause bii promised mum that if she let me stay at his house during my holiday period, he will leave me alone to concentrate on my studies when school starts. now that my school is starting , bii have to mark his words lurhs.

Having stayed at his house for quite some time , i feel a kind of weird feeling knowing that i will be going back home. its a mixture of feelings which i dunno how to describe in words. my life has changed since i stayed over at his house, but now it will be changing again cause i have to adapt to the fact that i am not able to see him first thing in the morning when i wake up, and not being able to dedicate every second of my life to him.

On a happier note, i can say i have already quit maple, so it will be easier to concentrate on my studies in the new semester. also, i have successfully bidded for the modules that i want to take this sem, although there's still this burden of CM1121, the module which i failed 2 times ._.

Oh well, i'm just gonna try my best when school starts , and find back my old self who gives studies some priority.

A brand new year, a brand new start !

Happy New Year to all ! May 2010 be a good year for everyone ! Loves ~

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